Arranged Marriage Essay Example For Students

Arranged Marriage Essay In the book, Arranged Marriage, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni depicts how various women are treated in Indias arranged marriages today. The short story, Clothes, shows an Indian woman content with her life, living with her husband in America. Mita was lucky with her arranged marriage, as her husband treated her like a queen. Somesh is kind to Mita, buying her American clothes and encouraging her to strive with these new opportunities given to her, like going to college: But first he wants me to start college. Get a degree, perhaps in teaching. I picture myself in front of a classroom of girls with blond pigtails and blue niforms, like a scene out of an English movie I saw long ago in Calcutta. They raise their hands respectfully when I ask a question. Do you really think I can? I ask. Of course, he replies. I am gratified he has such confidence in me (Divakaruni 27). Somesh is an amazing husband, putting his wifes needs before his own, as Mita explains, l scold Somesh to hide my embarrassed pleasure. He shouldnt have been so extravagant. We cant afford it. He Just smiles (Divakaruni 25). Clothes models a perfect arranged marriage, where the happy couple has a balance of power instead f the woman being treated unjust. A couple of days later Mother had another mark on her face, even bigger and reddish-blue. It was on the side of her forehead and made her face look lopsided. This time when I asked her about it she didnt say anything (Divakaruni 3). The story, The Bats, describes an abusive relationship, from an arranged marri age. Every night the woman sleeps alone, crying herself to sleep, trying to hide both the physical and mental pain from her daughter. Posters will act as our visual aid in order to explain such terms as swamber which literally means groom seeks out his bride:. Other terms such include dowry which is the payment of the woman;s inheritance at the time of her marriage, either to her or her husband. This dowry usually helps pay for the wedding ceremony, paid mostly by her parents. One very important part of an arranged marriage is the significance of the middle man, who is usually a middle woman. She may be a family friend or an aunt of the person to be married. This matchmaker thoroughly inspects the pasts and reputations of the prospective bride or groom to find anything that may not be approved by the family. This is usually done by word of mouth by relatives and friends who know the person. There are three main characteristics that the mediator looks for : the girl or boys social status, their education level and their physical appearance. After these qualities have been approves by both families, the two may meet if they dont already know each other. If they agree they would like to be married, the wedding may proceed as soon as two weeks later or as late as a few years. There are five ceremonies that are a part of the wedding. The first is mungi which is the engagement. The second is the brides mendhi. In this ceremony the bride and her relatives paint their hands with henna paint and celebrate by dancing. The only men allowed are the groom and his procession.The third ceremony is the grooms mendhi. It is the same as the brides mendhi but this time the grooms friends and relatives are celebrating and the bride and her procession are there. Not all mendhies are separate, some are celebrated together. Nikah is the official day of the wedding. The papers are signed and everyone on the brides side is quite solemn. This is the first day she will be away from her family and become a member of her husbands.The last ceremony is the Valima which is the reception. This is arranged and paid for by the grooms parents. Arranged marriages are very different from the Western idea of marriage but its deeply imbedded in the culture. Girls are taught that marriage comes first and love comes after. More times than not, parents listen to the characteristics that their children would like in a mate. Children are allowed to have love marriages and they are prevalent in the metropolitan areas of India but arranges marriages still make up 95% of the marriages. Divorce is very rare in India and carry a negative social stigma with them. In modern times the Internet has also changed the traditional affects of an arranged marriage. Rather than go through a middle man, young people simply look at profiles on the net and set up meetings themselves. The Abstinence Club Essay No matter how they meet, the idea is to bring together like minded families with the goal to perpetuate the lineage Bibliography: .