Alcohol and Sexual Assault - Its Time to Stop Sex Bias :: Argumentative Persuasive

Alcohol and Sexual Assault - It's Time to Stop Sex Bias If we are serious about sexual assault, we should reject principles that perplex us when honestly applied to the problem. Some are now advising us to accept, as a guide to personal responsibility and the prevention of sexual assault, the intoxication principle: an intoxicated person cannot consent to sex. So should we accept it? If so, how shall we apply it to Jack and Jill, who had sex while both were intoxicated? According to this principle, neither Jack nor Jill consented to sex, which is perplexing about which, if either, has been assaulted. If Jill has, so has Jack, and if Jack has not, neither has Jill. Consider a replacement: the has-been-drinking principle: a person who has been drinking cannot consent to sex. But what if Jack and Jill have sex after drinking but neither is intoxicated? The issue of sexual assault is no less baffling here than before: if Jill has been assaulted, so has Jack, and if Jack has not, neither has Jill. Moreover, the has-been-drinking principle excuses too much. Surely responsibility for resisting the non-intoxicating effects of alcohol applies to men and women alike. Should we then reconsider the intoxication principle? What if Jack and Jill have sex while Jack has been drinking and Jill is intoxicated? On the intoxication principle, Jack is responsible for having sex but Jill is not, which undoubtedly is sometimes sexual assault. There are two nagging difficulties, however. Suppose when Jill sobers she sincerely denies being sexually assaulted because she wanted to have sex while intoxicated. Must we conclude that a sober, intelligent woman cannot know whether she was assaulted? What, then, are we to think when she says that she was? Also, what if Jack and Jill have sex when he is intoxicated and she has simply been drinking? An even-handed, honest application of the intoxication principle should conclude that Jill sexually assaulted Jack. But many do not find this sexual assault at all, even if Jack sincerely objects when sober that he never consented to sex. In charging men with assault, universities sometimes evoke principles that hold men, but not women, responsible for sex when alcohol is involved. For well thought-out reasons, our legal system rejects such principles, prompting universities to devise legal systems all their own. They sometimes implement a gender-differentiated drinking principle: if a woman has been drinking, she cannot consent to sex, but a man consents to all his sexual behavior whether he is fully sober, has been drinking or is intoxicated.

American Beauty – Paper

American Beauty In the movie â€Å"American Beauty† there is a list of interpersonal conflicts. Lester and Carolyn Burnham are a seemingly ordinary couple in an anonymous suburban neighborhood, whose marriage and lives are slowly unraveling. They both have become so distant but remain together to keep up appearances. This relationship shows all the factors that Daniel Dana considers being a conflict. Two people are independent; they each need something from the other, both parties blame the other or find fault with them for causing the problem, one or more of the parties is angry or emotionally upset, the parties’ behaviors are affecting their relationship with each other and/or their relationships with others. †(Dana, 2000) In the movie there are many conflicts but the interpersonal conflict that stands out is that between Lester and Carolyn. The conflict between Lester and Carolyn is hard to ignore. They have stopped communicating effectively to one another. Les ter is a middle aged man, whom sees no satisfaction in his life anymore.Carolyn is a middle aged woman, whom only shows her satisfaction, but it is a mask; to make it seem that she is happy. Lester, at first, seems to have a passive communication style, compared to Carolyn’s aggressive communication style. In the narration from Lester in the beginning of the film; he seems to be tired of his life and how it is going. They live in a big white house with a red door and a white picket fence; living the American dream. Unfortunately it is anything but. They have a daughter Jane who Lester believes he has failed. One night, Lester and Carolyn go to one of her work functions.Almost immediately they go their own ways at the function. Carolyn is being entertained by the â€Å"King† of real estate, drinking. While Lester has found himself outside with the new neighbor boy Ricky Fitts, smoking the illicit drug marijuana. When they go home and are in bed, their problems come to f ruition. At this point the â€Å"blame game† comes into the picture; with much negativity. They fight back and forth sarcastically, saying hurtful things, until Carolyn jumps up out of bed and bursts out â€Å"This isn’t a marriage†. Then Lester finally speaks up and tells her what he has been feeling for years.One factor is the lack of sex between them. Also, he states that he has been her puppet for years; since she received her realtors license, and finally that he has been extremely unhappy. Then he continues saying that the only reason she is mad and saying anything is because he is finally fighting back. His dramatic and angry speech makes Carolyn silent. At this point in the film, I am more aware that they haven’t had effective communication to resolve their conflicts, for many years now. This situation escalated from their root cause of both of them becoming withdrawn, and not resolving their conflicts. When conflict erupts, emotions are involved, and the relationship can be threatened if the conflict is not resolved amicably. †(Sole, 2011) I think what started their downfall, years ago, is that they avoided conflict. This can be destructive in any relationship and/or marriage. If you don’t have the skills of resolving conflict; you run the risk of ruining your marriage, separate friendships, and shatter your family. Since both parties did not obtain the skills necessary to resolve their conflicts, it resulted in Carolyn stepping out of their marriage; to have an affair with her real-estate rival, Buddy Kane the â€Å"King†, of real-estate.Also, resulting in Lester acting out, quitting his job, smoking marijuana, buying a 1970 Pontiac Firebird, and working out to impress a 17 year old girl; what some may call a mid-life crisis. Amazingly enough, this could have all been resolved, as long as they both are willing with positive emotions during their conflicts. Research has shown that interjecting positive e motions, along with negative emotions, during discussions result in happier marriages.I think that is Lester and Carolyn would have used some basic elements like humor, light-hearted fun, or some playfulness during their conversations, their marriage could have remained happy. Then if they could know and understand one another’s communication style, they would be better at resolving conflicts between them. Lester started out having a passive communication style, and then it quickly moved to a passive-aggressive communication style. I believed this happened because he was fed up with how his life was going and started to display resentment.With negative feelings, this indirectly sabotaged his life. If Carolyn held an assertive communication style, rather than an aggressive communication style, I believe they would have been able to eventually resolve their conflicts. All in all, if they had effective interpersonal communication, they would have continued to go down the path, t o be a happily married couple. References Sole, K. ,Making Connections: Understanding Interpersonal Communication,(2011),BridgePoint Education Inc. Retrieved From: https://content. ashford. edu/books

The Battle Of Civilizations By Samuel P. Huntington

There came the competition of global dominance in the modern era, over four hundred years of Western civilizations interacting, competing, and fighting. The Cold War which lasted over forty years of the Twentieth Century changed the course of the world and in the end, ushered in a new world order. In his article â€Å"The Clash of Civilizations†, Samuel P. Huntington captured what the world was like at the end of the Cold War. The question during the Cold War was â€Å"What side are you on?† became now â€Å"Who are you?† Huntington illustrates that culture and cultural identities are the primary causes of conflict in the post-Cold war. Nations were attempting to answer the question they face: Who are we? To do so, they reference things that mean the†¦show more content†¦The terrorist attacks on September 11, 2006 led many to believe that it was the start of clash of civilizations, which Said argued as one not seeing the whole picture. The Egyptian revol ution, of thousands pouring onto Cairo’s Tahrir Square demanding the self-determination they were denied, shows that the clash of civilization was a myth. The world is filled with clashes and significant conflicts, through the perspective of Huntington’s thesis, one will understand the main cause will be rooted in cultural differences. Through the perspective of Said’s thesis, one will understand that any conflicts in the beginning of the twenty-first century must be thoroughly understood rather than viewing it through the lenses of an outdated concept. Since the Peace of Westphalia, the balance of power amongst civilizations is shifting. Although nation states will still be a dominant player in world politics but the main friction of global conflicts will take place among civilizations. The international system began with the Treaty of Westphalia and the conflict between monarchies in the effort to gain more armies, territory and money. Then the system began t o shift towards nation states with the French Revolution. Instead of conflicts between nations, the aftermath of the Russian revolution led to the conflicts of ideologies, including communism versus fascism versus liberal democracy. Seen in the Cold War, the battle of communism versus liberal democracy was between twoShow MoreRelatedThe Cold War Was Easy : Capitalism Vs. Communism1402 Words   |  6 PagesUniversal Civilization.† Although he stated that, â€Å"you need to start with a certain kind of sensibility† he admitted, â€Å"I have no unifying theory of things† as well as, â€Å"I am not going to attempt to define this civilization.† Not accepting Naipaul’s theory that, â€Å"in general, the cultural coming together of humanity and the increasing acceptance of common values, beliefs, orientations, practices and institutions by peoples throughout the world†¦Ã¢â‚¬  would create this â€Å"Universal Civilization,† Samuel P. Hunt ingtonRead MoreA Summary Of The Clash Of Civilization1608 Words   |  7 Pageseconomic lifestyles of multiple civilizations created with are two of the greatest theories on the future of the world. First, Huntington P. Samuel writing the â€Å"Clash of Civilizations: And the Remaking of World Order, then Edward Said writing a scholarly essay on his theory known as Orientalism. These two theories both established in the same era refer to issues within economies like the Women in the Middle World. Clash of Civilization The Clash of Civilizations is a theory or hypothesis that cameRead MoreWhy Are Intra State Conflicts So Difficult? Resolve?1748 Words   |  7 Pagesinterventions in intra-state conflict by international actors are highlighted as to why such conflicts are so difficult to resolve. Concluding, it is remarked that ethnic, religious and cultural tension within states, as well the friction between whole civilizations are a significant factor for the complicated nature of intra-state conflicts. In the post-cold war era, with the rise of globalisation and the interdependence of markets, one can observe the moribund decline of traditional inter-state conflictsRead More A Theological Perspective of the Clash of Civilizations Essay7154 Words   |  29 PagesIntroduction On more than one occasion, President George W. Bush has described the terrorist attacks of September 11, 2001, as fostering â€Å"a monumental battle of good versus evil.† In this battle, there has been no doubt in his mind (or in ours) regarding who is on the side of good and who is on the side of evil. Though some have winced at the President’s use of such absolute moral terms to portray the tragic events of that fateful day, others have applauded his courageous use of such unfashionableRead MoreArab Refugee Crises And The Balkan Wars Of The 1990s1626 Words   |  7 PagesRefugees in Europe p 60-70) As Samuel Huntington says in The Clash of Civilizations, â€Å"It is my hypothesis that the fundamental source of conflict in this new world will not be primarily ideological or primarily economic. The great divisions among humankind and the dominating source of conflict will be cultural. Nation states will remain the most powerful actors in world affairs, but the principal conflicts of global politics will occur between nations and groups of different civilizations. The clash ofRead MoreThe Globalization of Animated Features and the Merging of Cultures1030 Words   |  5 Pagescooperation, and civic mutuality. On the other hand, Barbers work provides a better analysis than some others like Samuel Huntingtons Clash of Civilizations and the Remaking of World Order, a theory about peoples cultural and religious identities. Barbers study does include both economic and cultural features, along with discussions of the culture conflict within civilizations. Huntingtons analysis is considered weak in comparison to Barber. He believed that as the â€Å"perfect time† had ended,Read MoreThe Treatment of Arab Americans2303 Words   |  10 PagesSodhi is an extreme example of what political scientist Samuel P. Huntington calls the clash of civilizations. The clash of civilizations is a theory that peoples culture and religious identities are the reason for conflict in the world. Huntington proposes numerous reasons why civilizations clash and suggests that most conflict arises between Western and non-Western nations. According to Huntington, there are major differences among civilizations that arise from history, culture, tradition, languageRead MoreReligious Tolerance2106 Words   |  9 Pagessystem discussed in class.† When religious leaders insist that public schools perform plays, such as the Nativity, in the name of religious tolerance it should be examined to determine if it is a self serving request. Would they also demand that the Battles of Krishna be re-enacted? All children should be taught of other religions and to learn the history of other religions, but not be required to act out specifics from a particular religion. We may wish that state schools embraced our religious beliefsRead MoreThe Islamic State Of Iraq And Syria2957 Words   |  12 Pages Should the United States Send Troops to Iraq Syria to Help Combat ISIS? Chloe Varlack, Gillian Smith, Patricia Luna P.3 Introduction ISIS, the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, is an extremist group that branched from the Sunni terrorist group, al Qaeda, specifically the Iraq faction. Although ISIS has primarily focused on initiatives in the Middle Eastern region, the recent killing of American journalists, James Foley and Steven Sotlof following U.S. airstrikes targeting ISIS, has causedRead MoreUnderstanding Religious Identity and the Causes of Religious Violence7269 Words   |  30 Pagestheories such as Huntington’s Clash of Civilizations, is a compelling enough reason to explore whether the world order is really in the process of being redefined by major civilizations and religious groups. Amongst the many possibilities of confrontations that Huntington’s thesis examines, foremost are the existing frictions and hostilities between Islam and the West, the latter, to a certain extent, being an allusion to Christian culture and values.2 Huntington maintains that trends in global conflict

Aristotle s The Tragic Hero - 1561 Words

In Poetics, Aristotle claims four requirements for the tragic hero. The hero must be good. The hero must have appropriate quality of his or her gender and class. The hero must be true to life. Lastly, the hero must be consistent. These four characteristics are present in many tragic heroes. However, there are so many different authors with different interpretations of the tragic hero, that to define the tragic hero with merely four traits is not plausible. Aristotle defines the tragic hero in a way too simple manner. Aristotle’s statement that â€Å"It (tragic hero) must be good.† is not very definitive. â€Å"Good† is a subjective term. All characters have different point of views and their interpretation of the term â€Å"good† varies accordingly. For example in The Oresteia, Clytaemnestra and Orestes are both tragic heroes, and yet their understanding of â€Å"good† conflicts each other. In Agamemnon, Clytaemnestra murders her husband, who is also the father of Orestes. In doing so, she justifies herself saying â€Å"By the child’s Rights I brought to birth by Ruin, by Fury†¦ Here he lies. He brutalized me. The darling of all the golden girls who spread the gates of Troy.† (Agamemnon, 1459-1466) In her understanding, the murder of Agamemnon was a righteous punishment for the murder of Iphigeneia. On the other hand, in Orestes’ point of view, his mother is a detestable murderer that he must kill in order to avenge his father’s death. While confronting his mother, Orestes says â€Å"I want to butcherShow MoreRelatedAristotle s theory of the Tragic Hero1888 Words   |  8 Pagesï » ¿Aristotle’s theory of the Tragic Hero: â€Å"A man doesn’t become a hero until he can see the root of his own downfall† Tragic hero’s who fit under Aristotle’s depiction are known as ‘Aristotelian Tragic Hero’s’ and possess five specific characteristics; 1) A flaw or error of judgment (also known as ‘hamartia’ which is a fatal flaw leading to the downfall of a tragic hero or heroine) 2) A reversal of fortune due to the error of judgment (also known as ‘peripeteia’, which is a sudden reversal of fortuneRead MoreOedipus And Aristotle s Definition Of A Tragic Hero1466 Words   |  6 Pagesrefutes Aristotle’s definition of a tragic hero. Thesis Statement: Oedipus is the personification of Aristotle’s characterization of a tragic hero through his ability to maintain and keep his virtue and wisdom, despite his shortcomings and situation in life. Introduction I. Tragic Hero A. Definition of a tragic hero B. Oedipus’ Character II. Tragedy A. Language of Tragedy B. Tragedy and its affects on audience III. Plot A. Aristotle’s idea of a tragic plot B. Meaning of plot IV. VirtueRead MoreOedipus As A Great Representation Of Aristotle s Characterization Of The Tragic Hero1703 Words   |  7 Pages Oedipus is regarded as a great representation of Aristotle’s characterization of the tragic hero. He is able to accomplish this task because of his ability to demonstrate virtue of wisdom regardless of the flaws and the challenges he endures. Introduction Aristotle demonstrated the creation of a plot in literature. The method Aristotle adopted to create a plot involved the use of tight nexus of ignorance whereby the word Harmatia was mistranslated. The technique of plot creationRead MoreTragic Hero1598 Words   |  7 PagesTragic Hero From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia A tragic hero is a protagonist with a tragic flaw, also known as fatal flaw, which eventually leads to his demise. The concept of the tragic hero was created in ancient Greek tragedy and defined by Aristotle. Usually, the realization of fatal flaw results in catharsis or epiphany. The tragic flaw is sometimes referred to as an Achilles heel after the single fatal flaw of the Greek warrior Achilles. [citation needed] Aristotelian tragicRead MoreThe Fate Of The War1303 Words   |  6 PagesFate is considered as the development of events beyond a person s control, regarded as determined by a supernatural power. The Greeks believed that fate controls the course of a man s life as well as a nations life.They also believed that after fate made a decree there was nothing you could possibly do to change this. Fate was depicted as the most powerful force in the poem therefore not even the gods could change what was already decreed. Achilles and Hector were both controlled by the powerfulRead MoreAristotle s Aristotle On Greek Tragedy1405 Words   |  6 PagesAristotle on Greek Tragedy The drama for Aristotle was the replication of an action that is complete, severe, and of a particular magnitude. Besides, tragedy refers to the fall of noble individuals considered heroes or heroines. A tragic hero for Aristotle was a person that has some powerful wishes to attain a specific goal but encounters specific limits common to human flaws, nature, or the gods. Going through certain circumstances in life making the wrong decisions that change his life is a tragedy;Read MoreOedipus The King, A Tragic Hero Story Of Fate1495 Words   |  6 Pages OEDIPUS THE KING, A TRAGIC HERO STORY OF FATE Pamela A. Long L26269572 ENGL 102 Professor Givens March 2, 2015 Turabian Sophocles is one of the great ancient Greek tragedians in the history of drama. In the play â€Å"Oedipus the King,† Oedipus is an excellent example of fate happening to a tragic hero. In addition, this play has all the elements of tragedy; human weakness, powerless, suffering, and one not having control of his own destiny. As a result, â€Å"Oedipus the King†Read More Euripedes Medea versus Aristotlean Poetics Essay1570 Words   |  7 PagesAristotle, a philosopher, scientist, spiritualist and passionate critic of the arts, spent many years studying human nature and its relevance to the stage. His rules of tragedy in fact made a deep imprint on the writing of tragic works, while he influenced the structure of theatre, with his analysis of human nature. Euripides Medea, a Greek tragedy written with partial adherence to the Aristotelian rules, explores the continuation of the ancient Greek tales surrounding the mythology of Medea, PrincessRead MoreThe Tragic Hero Of Macbeth By William Shakespeare1724 Words   |  7 PagesA Greek philosopher named Aristotle once said, Tragedy is an imitation not of men but of a life, and action†¦. Aristotle is famous for his theory of tragedy. His definition of tragedy applies to William Shakespeare s play Macbeth. The play is about a hero who reaches a high position in the play and then falls because of his choices. Macbeth is a tragic hero according to Aristotle s aspects that make a tragedy. Macbeth is neither a villain nor a perfect character, he appears in the play in a highRead MoreThe Tragic Tragedy Of William Shakespeare s Othello1523 Words   |  7 Pagesloss. In the Merriam- Webster dictionary, we can see tragedy being defined a â€Å"disastrous event† (Webster). We also see in the dictionary that a serious drama that involves a hero’s downfall and an unhappy ending can also be classified as a tragedy. Aristotle, the famous Greek philosopher, provides a more comprehensive defini tion of tragedy based on drama in a play. Kennedy Gioia gives us, Aristotle’s definition of a tragedy that says â€Å"is an imitation of action of high importance, complete and of some

Analysis Of The Poem Lanval By Marie De France

In Marie De France’s poem â€Å"Lanval†, the knight Lanval faces immense cultural pressure to get married and have a male heir, as it is the norm in King Arthur’s kingdom. It may appear that â€Å"Lanval† is supporting the concept of the institution of marriage, as the story had a heavy focus on marriage, and the court nearly punished Lanval for rejecting Guinevere. On the surface, the poem could easily mislead the reader to believe this is the case, but without further analysis, the reader may miss the courting that the mystery-lady has provided Lanval, which prove why the text critiques the establishment of marriage, as her courting is very much of the inverse of a typical heterosexual relationship in the culture. This misunderstanding can be†¦show more content†¦This is significant because her pursuit signifies initiative, which is a sign of confidence. However, she also does not unconditionally offer her love. The fact that she requires that L anval be â€Å"worthy and courtly† indicates a sense of self-worth. Finally, in her offer, she does not mention any concrete details of what she would do for Lanval, let alone drop anything of her life for his interests, which suggests that although she will love him, she will not let him rule her life (another indicator of her self- worth). This behavior is quite powerful, as the her confidence and self preservation prove that she is a dominant type of individual. On the other hand, Lanval promises the mysterious lady that he would let the lady take control of his life, and therefore he is weak in his own character. On page 74, Lanval states that â€Å"Fair lady, if it were to please you to grant me the joy of wanting to love me, you could ask for nothing that I would not do as best I could, be it foolish or wise. I shall do as you bid and abandon all others for you.† In other words, Lanval is offering to do anything to just have her to want to love him. When he state s that he would do anything she asks, â€Å"be it foolish or wise†, he essentially announces that he would do anything for the woman with reckless abandon. He, therefore, denies the ability to tell the lady â€Å"no†. His reckless abandon reveals that he does not value himself, which demonstratesShow MoreRelatedThe Noble Chivalric Code And The Middle Class1489 Words   |  6 Pageschange (Leffert).† Marie De France wrote â€Å"Lanval†, a lay, in 12th century A.D., which was during the Anglo-Norman period. â€Å"The lais combined realistic and fairy-tale elements, and their author was skillful in the analysis of love problems and often showed a keen interest in contemporary life (Legge).† Feudalism, the exchange of land for food and money, was extremely prevalent during the reign of Henry II. The way the French/English division of class operated heavily influenced De France as she wrote thisRead MoreStatement of Purpose23848 Words   |  96 Pages fascinates me and attracts me to the Environmental Studies Program. Two courses in my geography department increased my interest in the connection between the environment and economics: Conservation of Underdeveloped Countries and Environmental Impact Analysis. In the former, we studied the problems of natural resource management in developing countries. The balance is always tilted toward economic growth at the expense of environmental preservation. For example, because the Pantanal Wetland could become

Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy free essay sample

If your musical taste is what youd call rebellious, then youre sure to love â€Å"Save Rock And Roll† by Fall Out Boy. The fiery soundtrack will make you want to get up and dance. When Fall Out Boy took a hiatus for a number of years, fans were upset, myself included. However it was definitely worth the wait when they returned with an album like this. During their break, they went through experiences that contributed the strong feelings poured into their stunning lyrics. The album title was inspired by a sarcastic remark from Pete Wentz, who plays bass guitar. It was later supported by Elton John, who features on the albums moving title track. Though Patrick Stump is the bands main vocalist, all the members add vocals on the album. It also features guest vocals from Big Sean, Courtney Love, and Foxes. Each song is very unique in that it incorporates other genres such as rock and punk as well as pop. We will write a custom essay sample on Save Rock and Roll by Fall Out Boy or any similar topic specifically for you Do Not WasteYour Time HIRE WRITER Only 13.90 / page You will find yourself in a certain mood after listening. As I was listening to â€Å"Death Valley,† I found myself comparing it to dance music from the 70s, but also getting a very powerful revolutionary feeling. Many listeners say that the first two songs – â€Å"Light Em Up† and â€Å"The Phoenix† – feel war-like and energizing. All the songs have relatable lyrics, regardless if youre going through a loss or something wonderful. One song features the much-quoted lyrics â€Å"The person that youd take a bullet for is behind the trigger.† They are witty and catchy, so you might find yourself singing them during the day. The background guitar and drum beats feel forceful and compelling at times, which can have a deep, emotional impact on the listener. My personal favorite is â€Å"Where Did the Party Go,† a song with a punchy opening and a pumping beat. The cover illustrates the album well. It shows two boys – one wearing ordinary clothes and smoking, and the other wearing monk robes and frowning. The meaning of this is new and old coming together, and with elements of pop sprinkled into the songs, that feel can be found in the sound of â€Å"Save Rock And Roll.† This album is a must-have for Fall Out Boy fans, old and new. And although reviewers say, â€Å"They may not save rock and roll †¦Ã¢â‚¬  they praise the genius comeback of this breathtaking album.

Arranged Marriage Essay Example For Students

Arranged Marriage Essay In the book, Arranged Marriage, Chitra Banerjee Divakaruni depicts how various women are treated in Indias arranged marriages today. The short story, Clothes, shows an Indian woman content with her life, living with her husband in America. Mita was lucky with her arranged marriage, as her husband treated her like a queen. Somesh is kind to Mita, buying her American clothes and encouraging her to strive with these new opportunities given to her, like going to college: But first he wants me to start college. Get a degree, perhaps in teaching. I picture myself in front of a classroom of girls with blond pigtails and blue niforms, like a scene out of an English movie I saw long ago in Calcutta. They raise their hands respectfully when I ask a question. Do you really think I can? I ask. Of course, he replies. I am gratified he has such confidence in me (Divakaruni 27). Somesh is an amazing husband, putting his wifes needs before his own, as Mita explains, l scold Somesh to hide my embarrassed pleasure. He shouldnt have been so extravagant. We cant afford it. He Just smiles (Divakaruni 25). Clothes models a perfect arranged marriage, where the happy couple has a balance of power instead f the woman being treated unjust. A couple of days later Mother had another mark on her face, even bigger and reddish-blue. It was on the side of her forehead and made her face look lopsided. This time when I asked her about it she didnt say anything (Divakaruni 3). The story, The Bats, describes an abusive relationship, from an arranged marri age. Every night the woman sleeps alone, crying herself to sleep, trying to hide both the physical and mental pain from her daughter. Posters will act as our visual aid in order to explain such terms as swamber which literally means groom seeks out his bride:. Other terms such include dowry which is the payment of the woman;s inheritance at the time of her marriage, either to her or her husband. This dowry usually helps pay for the wedding ceremony, paid mostly by her parents. One very important part of an arranged marriage is the significance of the middle man, who is usually a middle woman. She may be a family friend or an aunt of the person to be married. This matchmaker thoroughly inspects the pasts and reputations of the prospective bride or groom to find anything that may not be approved by the family. This is usually done by word of mouth by relatives and friends who know the person. There are three main characteristics that the mediator looks for : the girl or boys social status, their education level and their physical appearance. After these qualities have been approves by both families, the two may meet if they dont already know each other. If they agree they would like to be married, the wedding may proceed as soon as two weeks later or as late as a few years. There are five ceremonies that are a part of the wedding. The first is mungi which is the engagement. The second is the brides mendhi. In this ceremony the bride and her relatives paint their hands with henna paint and celebrate by dancing. The only men allowed are the groom and his procession.The third ceremony is the grooms mendhi. It is the same as the brides mendhi but this time the grooms friends and relatives are celebrating and the bride and her procession are there. Not all mendhies are separate, some are celebrated together. Nikah is the official day of the wedding. The papers are signed and everyone on the brides side is quite solemn. This is the first day she will be away from her family and become a member of her husbands.The last ceremony is the Valima which is the reception. This is arranged and paid for by the grooms parents. Arranged marriages are very different from the Western idea of marriage but its deeply imbedded in the culture. Girls are taught that marriage comes first and love comes after. More times than not, parents listen to the characteristics that their children would like in a mate. Children are allowed to have love marriages and they are prevalent in the metropolitan areas of India but arranges marriages still make up 95% of the marriages. Divorce is very rare in India and carry a negative social stigma with them. In modern times the Internet has also changed the traditional affects of an arranged marriage. Rather than go through a middle man, young people simply look at profiles on the net and set up meetings themselves. The Abstinence Club Essay No matter how they meet, the idea is to bring together like minded families with the goal to perpetuate the lineage Bibliography: .